Pocket Calm: Gentle Reminders for Dementia Caregivers

Last month, I sat beside my mom as we went through her jewelry piece by piece. We did not just look at it. We labeled it. We talked about where each item came from, who gave it to her, and what it meant. It felt like we were creating a map, a way to carry her stories forward.

Then yesterday, I came back to continue the sorting. I opened the drawer and found everything jumbled together. No categories. No tags. Just a tangled bundle.

At first, I felt frustration rise. All that care, all that time, undone. A few hours later, something softened. I realized the process was not really for me. It was for her.

To remember. To feel seen. To connect with her own life while she still could.

That is how memory loss goes. It does not move in straight lines. Sometimes there is clarity. Sometimes not. And no checklist or label or system will keep everything in place.

But how we show up still matters. Even if the outcome slips away, the effort leaves a trace.

I made this small checklist to help me remember. Emotions can push away reason.

It is small enough that I can tuck it into my wallet or put it on the fridge, something to ground me when I feel like giving up. It reminds me that showing up, even when it is hard, is still an act of love.

💛View and print the memory frustration grounding checklist.

Use this to:

• Provide grounding reminders when emotions run high

• Help you prioritize your loved one’s comfort and dignity

• Keep essential actions and mindsets within easy reach

• Encourage small, sustainable ways of caring for yourself along the way